This is from the free daily newspaper AM New York last week. This is totally me:

I don’t mean to be a baby-carting bully, but when people are standing in the middle of the sidewalk, they need some encouragement to do what normal, decent, law-biding citizens should do: get the heck out of the way.

If there were cars stopped in the middle of the highway for no good reason, what would you do? Lay on the horn. Well, the Cool Stroller doesn’t have a horn, but it has a fat front wheel that rides perfectly on the backs of peoples’ ankles (not that I’ve ever done that, though I’m curious how a busted-up Birkenstock got in our spokes).

And what if you were driving an ambulance coming upon said pointless roadblock? Well, you’d do much more than honk your horn. You’d push through the traffic if that meant saving the life of your patient. And if you’re thinking, “Well, CD, you’re not exactly in a life-and-death emergency here,” then you probably haven’t had a toddler screaming, “I NEED TO GO POO-POO” in your expensive, new double jogging stroller.

So, if you’re on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and stop in the middle of the sidewalk to ask yourself whether you just passed a Real Housewife of New York, and you happen to notice a speeding red blur behind you, roll. Cool Baby’s poo-poos wait for no one.