Tag Archives: sports

photo: Julie Jacobson (AP)

Historically, I’ve followed college football more closely than I have the NFL – a natural result of having lived in my college town of Gainesville, FL for 14 years. I’m a fan of the NFL’s New England Patriots, and I want them to do well, but pro football is usually no more than a passing interest as the season rushes by.

However, this year has been different. First of all, the Florida Gators stunk. Moreso, I’m tuned in to the NFL this season because of its story of the year, the unlikely success of Denver Broncos quarterback (and Florida alum) Tim Tebow. Continue reading

Bobcats Celtics BasketballWith March Madness and the NBA season racing toward the playoffs, I’ve had a fair amount of basketball on the TV during the weekends. Cool Baby gladly watches by my side, and it’s cool to think that there’s one normal thing about our life right now: A dad and his boy watching sports together.

We’re pretty stingy when it comes to TV time for CB, but I feel fine with him watching honest athletic competition. The only sketchy moments are during trailers for horror movies, but I just scream, “SCARY!!” and he scampers from the room, yelling and covering his ears. He peeks around the corner until I give him the green non-terrifying-commercial light.

I only like to watch games when I have a vested interest in who wins. This is natural when one of my teams, the Boston Celtics or Florida Gators, is playing. However, it’s also relevant when there’s a team that’s a rival of one of mine, so I’d like to see them lose (LA Lakers, Miami Heat, Kentucky Wildcats, et al.). Essentially, every game that I bother watching has a good guy and a bad guy.

A couple of weeks ago, we were watching an NBA game, and I was rooting against a rival team. I don’t remember the game, but the two teams were wearing green and blue jerseys, respectively, or something like that. To share some vested interest with CB, I shared with him that the ‘green guys’ were the good guys, and the ‘blue guys’ were the bad guys. He caught on quickly and rooted in line with me. I was proud.

A couple of weeks ago, we had the Orlando Magic-Phoenix Suns NBA game on. Orlando’s main colors are blue and black; Phoenix’s, purple and orange. In an NBA game, the visiting team normally wears dark colors, and the home team wears light ones, usually white. I realized that my good vs. evil context of watching sports might be backfiring on me when CB asked me such gems as:

“Daddy, are the white guys the good guys, and the black guys are the bad guys?”

and

“Daddy, the white guys don’t want the black guys to win.”

Now, I’d love for CB to get discovered for his talent and effervescence. However, I’ll refrain from calling the good Rev. Al Sharpton despite the near-guarantee of speaking engagements and sound bites that CB’s NBA insights could get him.

I tried to blunt CB’s statements.

“Actually, the guys in white (Phoenix) are the good guys, and the guys in black (Orlando, a rival of Boston) are the bad guys.”

He didn’t catch on and continued to preach that the white guys were good and were stopping the black guys from making baskets and winning. I wanted to guide his thinking with lessons on how to describe a person’s color versus how to describe what they’re wearing, with maybe a bit of American colonial history thrown in, too. I didn’t bother. Visions of flame comments, DDoS attacks, and ACLU lawsuits flashed before my eyes.

As March Madness progressed, I tried to be better about defining the guys in black and the guys in blue and the guys in white. I need to fix this soon because you never know; we could win the Circle of Moms Dad Blog contest (unlikely) and meet President Obama! And if our chat with the Prez turns to basketball (he’s a big hoops fan), things MIGHT get awkward.

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Speaking of, have you voted for us in the Circle of Moms Dad Blog contest? Looks like the frontrunners are sprinting away with the popular vote, but we have an outside chance at the Top 25! Vote here today and every day, please!

One of the Cool Uncles pointed us to what Gizmodo proposes might be The Most Depressing Toy Ever. It’s the Young Explorer by Little Tikes, and it’s a kiddie office cubicle made of plastic, complete with built-in computer and 19-inch monitor. This is the premiere way to prepare your little one for a life of second-guessing that sociology degree.

little-tikes-young-explorer

The Young Explorer can be yours, shipped to your home or childcare facility for a mere $2700. Think of the freedom you would gain as a parent! Your jam-packed days can be simplified to this:

  1. Little One drags himself to the Young Explorer by 9:00am. Plops down and checks his news and sports websites, because keeping up on current events will help him do his job better, right? Then it’s time to work.
  2. Fifteen-minute lunch and then back to the grind with mandatory potty breaks every two hours, of course. Don’t want to have an accident at work!
  3. Puts his clock-reading skills to use, counting down until 5:00pm. You pop in saying that you’re going to need him to stay late, thus buying you another free hour to make dinner.
  4. When he finally gets off the Young Explorer, it’s time for dinner, and then he’s exhausted. Straight to bed for our little worker!

Honestly, I’d like to spare Cool Baby a cubicle-based existence if possible. I want him to pursue his passions creatively and wisely, but I’m not sure what I want him to be. If it were my choice, I would consider the possibilities and narrow down from there:

  • Musician? NO – low odds of making it, too much travel.
  • Writer? NO – need kind of a weird, lonely streak, at least for certain stretches of time.
  • Systems analyst? NO – we’re trying to keep him out of the cubicle, remember?
  • Doctor? NO – the healthcare industry, especially insurance, seems like a big mess.
  • Professional athlete? YES! but with a specific sport: baseball. I’m not a baseball fan, but the overprotective dad in me likes the infrequent violent contact and the lucrative contracts. You’re probably thinking, “But he gets a ball thrown at his head at 90mph like 10 times a game!” I’ve got that figured out with a special uniform that I’ll make him:

armor-baseball

I call it Over Armour. What do you think? I think that Cool Baby would be great as a well-paid, ironclad Major League baseball player. I should work some air conditioning inside the steel sports outfit, too. And stealing second might be a bit tough. Anyway, I’ll have it all settled by Opening Day 2030.

What would you like your kiddie to be when (s)he grows up?