Point out/chuckle about the rat tail growing from the back of his head only as he’s running late to work.
One of my responsibilities as a frugal Cool Mum is to cut Cool Dad’s hair periodically. The period I refer to is usually very long, as is the hair, by the time I get around to it.
A few weeks after a haircut, CD starts complaining that he needs another one. I reassure him that “it looks fine.” The following week, I respond with “it doesn’t look bad,” to which he reacts as if that weren’t a compliment.
All of my reassuring words lull him into a false sense of hair security. That is, until the moment he is leaving for work when he notices me laughing to myself in the corner.
“What??”
“Nothing.” (more concealed laughter)
“Tell me–what is it?! It’s my hair, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s fine. I mean, it doesn’t look that bad.”
“What’s wrong with it now? I gotta go!”
“Well, you kinda have a rat tail there in the back.”
Cool Dad then reaches a boiling point and we run into the bathroom to do a quick trim, leaving evidence all over his nice shirt.
(photo: rainasun)
To many married folk, the wedding band is sacred; a highly-prized token of eternal dedication to one’s spouse. To many pastors, it’s the opportunity to say sweet dialog like
This ring is a perfect circle. The circle has no beginning or end, just like Christ’s love for us that He embodied on the cross. This ring is made of gold, a metal of great value, precious like the love of a divinely-ordained mate…
Some never take off their wedding band; I do all the time. I take it off when I play guitar; not to attract single ladies in the audience, but because it impedes the actions of my already short fingers. I almost never wear it at home because it slips off when I’m washing dishes or showering.
Of course, I treasure what the ring represents: my love of Cool Mum (who back then was Cool Wife) and her love of me. Apparently though, I do not so much treasure the ring itself. Which must be why I flushed it down the toilet.
It was an accident! I had just used the bathroom, and I placed the ring by the sink while washing my hands. I flushed the commode and picked up the ring to put it on. However, it slipped from my wet fingers and landed in the toilet with a clink!
I could still see it. I had time to snag it, but I decided to let the flush finish. It wasn’t going anywhere. Unfortunately, the potty had different plans.
The final whoosh of water whisked my ring away to the depths of our septic tank. I stood there for a moment processing what had just happened. The symbol of my eternal love for Cool Wife, sacrificed to the porcelain god. Doh.
My saving grace is that our pastor’s ring monologue could have actually gone something like this:
This ring is a perfect circle, or at least should have been if not for the unreliable quality control at Sheboygan Rings n’ Rivets, Inc. The circle that it should’ve been has no beginning or end, just like Christ’s love for us. This ring is crafted from sterling silver, a metal more precious than aluminum, and is rare in that it can be found only in the finest of mall kiosks…”
Yes, the ring that the crapper swallowed cost us $12 from the silver cart in the local mall. Considering gas for that shopping trip, I guess the total shoots up to $13.50. Shameful, I know. At least we made up for it with Cool Wife’s wedding band: $6 at Wal-Mart.
When we tell someone how much our rings cost, we often get an awkward nod, sometimes a chuckle. Maybe a “Oh, how interesting!” or “You guys make me laugh,” when their face screams “You weirdos.”
From a quick search across Yahoo! Answers, theknot.com, and various forums, I found that people seem comfortable spending around $300-500 on wedding bands. Some mentioned diamonds, platinum, and other premiums that drove the cost well above $1000.
We just decided that what the rings represent is important to us, not the price tag. Only by the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, we value the meaning, not the material item. Also, ’cause you never know when one of us might give their ring a permanent swirlie.
I took the incident a lot harder than Cool Wife. She thought it was funny and started planning our next trip to the mall. I agonized that the ring, a cornerstone of our wedding ceremony, was forever condemned to a smelly, smelly grave.
She reassured me and forgave me. That’s the real treasure: a patient, kind, forgiving love rooted in Christ. That kind of love is priceless and makes any precious metal look worthless in comparison.
