Continuing to catch up with the new Cool Fam of Four, we have been
THANKFUL
(I was thinking of doing all “ex-” words to carry on with the long Christian tradition of alliteration, but I decided against taking two hours to write this post.)
It was a hard pregnancy for Cool Mum. Her first trimester was met with awful morning sickness. And then she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, which turned her diet and life all upside down. And she had an energetic Cool Baby to care for during all of the nausea and then the hunger.
Through the difficulties though, we have a healthy Cool Newbie, and we are SO thankful to God for the new little guy. He already has been a blessing to us and neighborhood family. Cool Baby is crazy about his new baby brother and has been very gentle with him. Also, since CN is nursing, his poop doesn’t stink. Praise the Lord!
In addition to being exhausted and thankful, we have been
SQUISHED
We’ve mentioned it before, but we four (Cool Mum, Cool Baby, Cool Newbie, and myself) are sharing one 8′x8′ bedroom in the Cool Duplex. I was hoping that anti-gravity machines would be invented by now so that I could just float around the room to get what I need. Unfortunately, it’s already 2010 and no anti-grav machines are available for home use.
So, instead, when I go to bed (after everyone else), I tiptoe, climb, and contort my body to get by CM’s bed, CB’s bed, and CN’s bed, all without waking any of them. Silent, surgical precision, which might come in handy should I decide to become a Navy SEAL.
By God’s grace, CN’s crying hasn’t woken up CB much at all. That was our main concern: that CN’s crying would keep CB awake, thus resulting in two cranky, tired boys. But CB has been snoozing through the late-night crying sessions, and so have I. I usually wake up when I hear CN crying, but I don’t get cranky at work after a short night’s sleep (though it’s fun to throw a tantrum at the office and collapse when someone tries to escort me out).
This bedroom is a sight to behold, so we’ll have a video tour soon.
Yesterday, June 21st, had been circled on the Cool Fam Calendar for weeks. Cool Mum was scheduled to go in for a C-section to have our new boy. We were having our baby on the 21st!
Cool Baby (now 3) was born 9 days late. There was no waiting game this time. It was refreshing to have some control over the situation. The funny thing was that we missed our June 21 appointment. The really funny thing is that it’s because the new boy was born over a week before. So much for control.
It was supposed to be our last normal weekend – as normal as we could be with CM’s torpedo belly preventing her from walking outside of a 3-block radius of our apartment. On Saturday the 12th, she would do brunch with her friends while I watched CB all day. On Sunday, we’d relax and go to church.
Well, I don’t know what CM munched at brunch, but when she got home, she felt like she was having contractions. The body goes through “practice contractions” leading up to birth, so I told CM that her uterus was just in rehearsal mode. We were having our baby on the 21st.
CB had worn me out, so I was feeling sluggish, literally laying around the apartment. CM alerted me that the contractions were getting closer together and that we should go to the hospital.
Hospital?! I protested; it was a waste of time. They would just send us back. I had good plans for the weekend. There was too much to do at work this week. We were having our baby on the 21st!
Despite my airtight logic (and because of the advice of CM’s doctor), we went to the hospital. We got there and an army of doctors and nurses attended to CM. She was the only patient in the whole labor & delivery ward. Of course, that just meant more people to tell us to go back home due to false alarm, as it was not yet the 21st.
After various tests, a nurse strolled in and declared, “It looks like you’re having a baby.” And I thought Yes, we are eventually having a baby, but then my brain caught up and realized that the smiling nurse had said “today” at the end of her news. I was not ready to have a baby “today.” I was not ready to have a baby until Google Calendar sent me an email reminder for our C-section appointment on the 21st .
But despite my lack of emotional readiness, there I was an hour and a half later, holding a freshly-wiped, squinty-eyed brand new boy up for CM to see as she laid on the operating table.
The latest in the legendary line of Cool Babies was born on Saturday, June 12 at 7:47 pm. He weighed 7 lbs, 4 oz. And he was 9 days early. The 21st would have been nice, but we just got 9 bonus days to love on the little guy. That’s cool with me. (And yes, he has a name, but that’s a post all its own.)
One of the Cool Uncles pointed us to what Gizmodo proposes might be The Most Depressing Toy Ever. It’s the Young Explorer by Little Tikes, and it’s a kiddie office cubicle made of plastic, complete with built-in computer and 19-inch monitor. This is the premiere way to prepare your little one for a life of second-guessing that sociology degree.
The Young Explorer can be yours, shipped to your home or childcare facility for a mere $2700. Think of the freedom you would gain as a parent! Your jam-packed days can be simplified to this:
- Little One drags himself to the Young Explorer by 9:00am. Plops down and checks his news and sports websites, because keeping up on current events will help him do his job better, right? Then it’s time to work.
- Fifteen-minute lunch and then back to the grind with mandatory potty breaks every two hours, of course. Don’t want to have an accident at work!
- Puts his clock-reading skills to use, counting down until 5:00pm. You pop in saying that you’re going to need him to stay late, thus buying you another free hour to make dinner.
- When he finally gets off the Young Explorer, it’s time for dinner, and then he’s exhausted. Straight to bed for our little worker!
Honestly, I’d like to spare Cool Baby a cubicle-based existence if possible. I want him to pursue his passions creatively and wisely, but I’m not sure what I want him to be. If it were my choice, I would consider the possibilities and narrow down from there:
- Musician? NO – low odds of making it, too much travel.
- Writer? NO – need kind of a weird, lonely streak, at least for certain stretches of time.
- Systems analyst? NO – we’re trying to keep him out of the cubicle, remember?
- Doctor? NO – the healthcare industry, especially insurance, seems like a big mess.
- Professional athlete? YES! but with a specific sport: baseball. I’m not a baseball fan, but the overprotective dad in me likes the infrequent violent contact and the lucrative contracts. You’re probably thinking, “But he gets a ball thrown at his head at 90mph like 10 times a game!” I’ve got that figured out with a special uniform that I’ll make him:
I call it Over Armour. What do you think? I think that Cool Baby would be great as a well-paid, ironclad Major League baseball player. I should work some air conditioning inside the steel sports outfit, too. And stealing second might be a bit tough. Anyway, I’ll have it all settled by Opening Day 2030.
What would you like your kiddie to be when (s)he grows up?
Yo! Check out this video of me restoring a sweet vehicle to its former glory. I also get called “Mommy.”
Cool Baby has been maturing faster than we would have ever imagined. His paternal instincts are kicking in, and his little cool baby is named Albert, as in Albert the Alligator, the mascot of the University of Florida.
Two things to note in the following video:
- I have conversations with Albert for CB’s entertainment in which Albert has a deep, scruffy voice. CB has picked up the routine, too, and I’m glad to have gotten it on camera before he loses interest.
- CB is a better swaddler than we ever were! He dotes up on little Albert so gently and lovingly. He knows just how to handle a little one. We may start advertising his babysitting services.
You know, I think I’ll wait on posting that babysitting ad for a while.
