Are We Still Cool? » the Life

We Want a Huge Family!

Cool Mum — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 16:48:06 +0000

Yes, Cool Readers, we want a huge family and we want it as soon as possible! My Lent break from the usual Facebook and email activity left me with some pretty clear perspectives on this.

Check out my Post-Lent Rant:

I’m sick of letting 80% of my conversations come through Facebook and email.
I’m sick of looking to the iPad to sing songs with me and speak truth over my life.
I’m sick of praying by myself too much as if my relationship with God has nothing to do with others.
I’m sick of learning and hearing stories from books or online rather than in person.
I’m sick of pretending I can do everything myself.
I’m sick of being thought of only in the roles of wife and mother.
I’m sick of letting my interior thoughts become a god.
I’m sick of being a cold, uncompassionate person who never cries.

Now, before you ship us off to Babies “R” Us for the jumbo pack of diapers, let me clarify what we mean by having a huge family around.

Life is short, and we’re not leaning in the direction of more Cool Babies right now. We also feel that we are supposed to stay where we are.

So, the fastest way we can see to get a humungous family is to invite friends/family to move closer, get to know more neighbors, and get some Cool Roomies again. There are way too many blessings in here to just keep within the four members of this family!

What Cool Mum Gave Up for Lent: Facebook…and Email?!

Cool Mum — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 08:55:32 +0000

I’ve been celebrating Lent for six days. Six crazy days. After looking at the places where I had been using my time and mental space, I realized there were two GOOD things I could replace with better things during Lent: Facebook and email!

Spontaneously on Tuesday night, I deactivated my Facebook account temporarily and turned on the vacation responder for my emails. Freedom! I am a huge fan of both forms of communication, as I believe they can give us a sense of community in the midst of a busy world where people don’t have time to see each other in person.

For me, it is a taste of heaven to connect with a diverse group of people I knew anywhere from preschool to the present and be able to exchange words of truth and encouragement. However, I noticed that I could get caught up in this and miss some moments right around me in person.

While Cool Dad checks my email for me, I have replaced the email/Facebook time so far with:

Writing
Pondering life with God and putting those points of inspiration into action
Going to Tribeca for four hours of 90s music and dancing with girl friends until 3am
Setting aside mutiple times a day to give my undivided attention to my indescribable Savior, then my irresistibly cool husband, and then my adorable children
Hanging out with neighborhood friends
Taking in some Vivian Maier photography in Chelsea
Cooking up a gluten-free feast from scratch (though I have always been culinarily challenged) for 12 friends. Free range garlic chicken, fresh butternut squash and thyme, Larabar-ish pecan pie treats, coconut milk banana shakes. This is not me!

I understand that this doesn’t fit the traditional idea of Lent, and I certainly want to give proper reverence where it is due. Lent gives me time to acknowledge that “I’m nothing on my own” (thanks, Chris Martin!) while also remembering the unbelievable grace that is offered to all of us. This should result in extreme celebration even now!

Stealing from a Richard Rohr quote, the idea of freedom often turns into “having to do what you want to do” instead of what it really is– “wanting to do what you have to do.”

I Gave Up Gluten for Lent! (Pray for Me.)

Cool Dad — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 19:04:52 +0000

photo by Joel Salazar/Flickr

Cool Mum gave up gluten as part of her diet overhaul when she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. After having Cool Newbie, she stuck with her diet and has been gluten-free (‘GF’ to those in the know) ever since. I’ve supported her decision, aside from a few (or many) complaints when it came time to pick what to get at a restaurant or grocery store.

Gluten-free is great…for her. She’s never pushed her diet upon me; I’ve been my pizza, cookie, and bread-loving self. But when we talked about what to give up for Lent, the question came up: What about gluten?

“What ABOUT gluten?” I wanted to respond. “It’s fine! I don’t have a problem! I can stop whenever I want! You’re not the boss of me!” The image of a rising crust DiGiorno pizza in the oven ballooning and browning played in my mind’s eye. Regardless, I prayed about it, and the idea baked to a golden crisp in its own right.

I confirmed to CM on Tuesday that I was giving up gluten for Lent. A couple of friends have had incredible health turnarounds from giving up gluten, including skin and digestive issues, so who knows what medical miracle it might do for me. That optimism lasted only the night.

When I woke up on Ash Wednesday, I was hungry for my trusty Trader Joe’s Maple Shredded Wheat cereal, the go-to breakfast that’s fast, filling, and slightly sweet. But then I remembered that it was the first day of Lent. MAN! My reliable bowl of gluteny goodness that powered my every morning now wasn’t an option. And so were my quick dashes into pizza joints when I was hungry in Manhattan. And so was my favorite French bakery in Queens.

I began to file an appeal with CM (as if I couldn’t take it up with God myself), telling her that I didn’t want to give up gluten. I would instead give up watching and following pro basketball! I watch NBA highlights and read about my Boston Celtics every day, and that adds up to a fair chunk of time. It would be so RIGHT to give that up, to free me from the distraction.

CM didn’t try to talk me into or out of anything. She just encouraged me to figure out what I should do. I grumbled for a bit, but stuck with the original plan. To my relief, I survived the day with no gluten. I had oatmeal, lettuce wraps with turkey, cheese, yogurt and fruit, and stir-fry over rice (though my favorite teriyaki sauce contained wheat and was ineligible for use). This morning, I had a balanced breakfast of turkey bacon, cheese, lettuce, and an egg.

I admit that this isn’t that bad; I have plenty of options. And if I suffer severe pizza withdrawal, there are places around the city where I can grab a good gluten-free slice.

So, I’m ready to face the next 39 days without wheat. And that’s NOTHING compared to what Cool Mum gave up…

How Do You Define Cool? Tell Us Your Story!

Cool Mum — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 15:27:00 +0000

Everyone has their own definition of cool, but this principle is close to our hearts:

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. – Romans 12:2

We get a kick out of experimenting and doing things a little differently in life. From the WonderWash, to cutting our own hair, to giving our kid salads. The larger goal is not just to be different, but to be transformed by the one who made us. To actually live by what we tell ourselves we believe and value. What could be cooler than that?

If this makes us “not a success” in the eyes of most Americans, then so be it. We can’t imagine living any other way. We gotta fight…for our right…to beeee weird!

On that note, we want to thank you, our readers, for coming along for that ride. We’d love to hear your stories.

We’re looking for folks to guest post or interview here on Are We Still Cool. Please email us and let us know how you’ve gone against common sense to chase your dreams or live more closely to your own values or beliefs.

Maybe you dropped out of college to start your own business? Or moved to the country to start a farm? Or quit your job to pursue your creative passions? Come on over. Inspire us!

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We Might Be the Luckiest People in the World

Cool Mum — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 09:31:11 +0000

It all began in college. Cool Dad and I both loved living in the dorms. Getting to live with random friends and strangers, in a building full of hundreds of pre-career people your age, and the new freedom of being an adult on your own? Are you kidding me?!

Well, college ended and you still couldn’t drag us away. If we couldn’t attend college anymore, at least we could work there. And that is what we did. Our first apartment as a married couple was immediately across the street from campus, near some fraternity houses. When we looked out our window on a Saturday morning, we saw a few participants of the “walk of shame.” We could also walk to Leonardo’s By the Slice or stroll among the brick buildings or join the rush of students between classes anytime we wanted. And Cool Dad’s rock band was still in full swing.

“But, you should focus on your marriage and career! You’re not in college anymore!” we heard society telling us. Slowly we started to give in. Most of our college friends were moving away anyway. And we did think it would be nice to move from a one bedroom to a two bedroom, and then eventually to a three bedroom house.

Looking back, that was when my spiritual life started fizzling out. I personally entered a rough patch where I didn’t really want to go to church or think about spiritual things. I wasn’t inspired. I wasn’t dreaming. I wasn’t very well connected with others. Most people were delving into their careers too, so there was little time to see each other. I was focusing on the marriage, as if that was the source of my whole fulfillment. Bad idea. Even when you’re totally in love, you NEED your friends around!

Six years later, we found ourselves in a (small by Florida standards) 1100-square-foot house on an acre of land that felt way too big for us. We had many wonderful friends, but it seemed that something was still missing. We sought community through blogging and Facebook and all sorts of other geeky means. But, it still wasn’t the dorms. And then we found ourselves picking up and moving to NYC, not knowing why.

Later, I realized that anyone who loved college dorm life will love living here.

Tiny living spaces? Check.
Communal laundry? Check.
Neighbors on all six sides of you? Check.
Public common areas that people actually use? Check.
Lots of talk among interesting strangers? Check.
“School Spirit”? Check.
Non-scary public transportation? Check. (Well, most of the time.)

Now we know this is one of the reasons we can’t get ourselves to leave. We have just begun to get the whiff of community. We need people. When we are overflowing with joy as a family, we need people to share that with. When we go out, we need to see and talk to people who are different from us. When we’re frustrated, we need people outside our immediate family to empathize with us. When God is teaching us things, we need people to keep us accountable. When we’re screwing up big time, we need people to say, “What the heck are you thinking?” We also need to be these things to other people.

I think this stems back to the things we believe about how loving God and loving others is so interwoven. It is clear he did not create us to just pray to him and forget every human around us. Before the first sin, God said it was not good for man to be alone. And we don’t think that was just a commercial for the wedding industry.

Like Ms. Streisand said:

People who need people,
Are the luckiest people in the world.
We’re children, needing other children,
And yet letting a grown-up pride,
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like children than children.

Right on, Barbra! Call me a funny girl, but I think: no dishwasher, no washing machine, no problem. We ARE the luckiest!

Our Valentine’s Day in Scranton (Sort Of)

Cool Dad — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:43:34 +0000

We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in grand fashion since our wedding anniversary falls two weeks later. Yesterday was another simple celebration, but still plenty of fun.

We dropped the Cool Bros off with a friend and raced home for a lovely Middle Eastern dinner courtesy of our personal chef, Trader Joe. Cool Mum spread the ingredients on the table: a bag of pitas, tubs of tabouli and tahini sauce, and a package of falafels. A half-eaten container of hummus, fresh from the refrigerator, joined them.

After a swift nuking of the falafels and pitas, dinner was served. It was glorious – stuffing warm pitas with steaming falafels, crisp tabouli, smooth hummus, and tangy tahini with one’s beloved. We marked this special moment by reliving the carefree days before we had children. We watched TV – DURING DINNER. That’s a big deal for us.

Not technically TV, but we started Netflix on the iPad and knocked out two episodes of The Office. (We’re catching up.) Then our Valentine’s Day date was over, and we visited with our friend who watched the bros.

It was only a couple of hours out of the 24 on February 14, but they made our Valentine’s Day.

How was your Valentine’s Day?

What do you want your kid to be when he/she grows up? (I want Cool Baby to be a knight, sort of)

How’s That New Year’s Resolution Going?

Cool Dad — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:42:39 +0000

I can’t believe that we’re already at February 1st of 2012! Actually, I refuse to believe it. In my reality, it’s January 13. Rent and credit card payments are still a comfy two weeks away. And the country is still swept in the orange and blue tide of TebowMania with the Broncos’ big playoff game against the Patriots coming up. Yep, it’s only the 13th, and I’m sure that our landlord and bank will be cool with that.

But something tells me that they won’t. I just have to accept that it’s February 1 and that the first month of the year is already behind us. That means that the first month of our well-intentioned resolutions for 2012 are history, too. How’s that going for ya?

For the New Year, I resolved to spend time everyday, even if only a few minutes, to read the Bible and pray. By God’s grace, I’ve actually stuck with it. I’ve missed a day or two, but I was able to catch up on my reading plan the next day. For the first time in my life, I’m keeping 100% of my resolutions going into the second month of the year. Maybe turning (insert age here) was just what I needed to nail down some discipline.

Are you still going with your New Year’s resolution(s)?

Nine Cool Years: Happy Anniversary to Us!

The Theme for My Life in 2011

Cool Dad — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:01:55 +0000

I wish that I could report that we had an ultra-cool New Years Eve like partying with celebrities or on the moon. Instead, we put the kids down around 7, Cool Mum watched a movie with her mom while I played on the iPad, and the Cool ‘Rents went to bed at 10:30. [-5 cool points] We woke up relieved to see that the world had not screeched to a halt due to an unexpected Y2K12 bug.

Before I plow ahead with another year of questionable ideas and immature jokes (chicken butt), I wanted to take a quick look at 2011 and see if I could come up with an overall personal theme (I’m not speaking for CM here) to the year.

My initial thought was that ’11 was about rejection. Perhaps my new Uniqlo flannel shirts were sending me into a Seattle grunge type of self-loathing, but when I looked at two key plot lines through the year, it made sense.

The big one was my search for employment. I was laid off from my job on Thanksgiving 2010 due to financial hardships at the company. The fam spent an extended holiday in Florida, and I returned to NYC with a drive to find a job. After applications, phone interviews, and in-person interviews, I was still part of the unemployed masses.
Another arc, which wasn’t really rejection but still gave me the feeling of separation, was our recent move to the Bronx after two years on the Upper East Side. Our church and many of our friends were on the UES, and while I worked through my initial frustrations of being away from them, I felt alienated, like the life that I was living for the past two years was going on without me.

Saying that last year was all about rejection sounds cool and brooding, but it’s wrong. I feel good about life, and that’s because 2011 was a good year. Things didn’t all go my way, but that’s what happens when you go through a year of focus.

Here’s how my life began to come into focus in 2011:

As the job search went on, I picked up small projects, ranging from web design to writing. As I succeeded through those, I honed in on what my different talents are and how proficient I am with each of them. The experience continues to help me decide how to translate those talents into marketable skills.
I gained a love for our neighborhood. We got to know friends up here better and made new ones. We used our car, which we could in no way have brought to NYC while we lived in Manhattan, to explore the Northeast. And the (relative) affordability of the area means that we can sustain a life here, and we want to.
My time at home strengthened our family bond. I’m glad to have been around for Cool Newbie’s evolution from a baby to a toddler, seeing his little personality develop and being available to hug him all throughout the day.
The passing of our friend Sunday inspired me to learn from him and be an intentional and outspoken friend.
The year gave me a couple of fun creative goals to work towards and find the partners who will help make them happen. I can’t wait to get started.

So, enough about 2011. I just know that 2012 will be much better! You know why? Chicken thigh.

No related posts.

Your Christmas Card from the Cool Fam

Cool Dad — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 14:41:03 +0000

We’re committing not to stress about shopping or schedules and distractions like that. We hope that you’re enjoying the season. Thank you for hanging around our little blog!

No related posts.

When I Did Church with Tim Tebow

Cool Dad — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:01:10 +0000

photo: Julie Jacobson (AP)

Historically, I’ve followed college football more closely than I have the NFL – a natural result of having lived in my college town of Gainesville, FL for 14 years. I’m a fan of the NFL’s New England Patriots, and I want them to do well, but pro football is usually no more than a passing interest as the season rushes by.

However, this year has been different. First of all, the Florida Gators stunk. Moreso, I’m tuned in to the NFL this season because of its story of the year, the unlikely success of Denver Broncos quarterback (and Florida alum) Tim Tebow.

Even if you don’t watch football, you probably know Tebow’s story; it’s transcended the sports page. Expected to fail as a pro QB because of his unconventional skill set, he’s led Denver to six straight wins, many of them last-minute comebacks, and resurrected the team from a lost season to first place in their division. He’s living every underdog’s dream on the largest stage in American sports. Even more newsworthy is his outspoken Christian faith, which is testing the boundaries of sports, the media, and religion. He is often seen kneeling in prayer on the sideline and begins many an interview by thanking his “Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” If that’s not polarizing enough, he appeared in a pro-life commercial during last year’s Super Bowl.

It’s interesting to watch the media analyze every angle of Tebow’s piety because I’m reminded of when I saw it in person – before he led the Gators to the 2008 national championship, before he won the 2007 Heisman Trophy, and before I stayed late at work to watch him commit to Florida in a 2005 press conference. Before all of that, I praised the Lord with Tim Tebow the High School Kid in a small church near Jacksonville, FL.

For most of my 14 years in Gainesville, I was in a Christian rock band. The band often led the music at church gatherings for middle and high school kids. The events went like this: we played a few songs, a speaker preached a short sermon, and we closed with more music. At some point in Christian antiquity, pizza and soda must have been decreed as the official meal of such youth events – an adolescent Eucharist.

Before the program, we greeted the event speaker, Tim Tebow, quarterback at Nease High School. The first thing I noticed about Tim was that he exuded more manliness than us four band members combined.

Having to run for your life and throw a ball 30 yards, QBs are obviously athletic, but they’re not often known for their physiques. They look like normal guys, maybe on the tall side. However, this Tim kid must have lived at the gym when he wasn’t at church or on the field. Maybe he did push-ups during his bedtime prayers. More bodybuilder than quarterback, I’m not sure which he shredded more, opposing defenses or the stitching in his polo shirts.

And let’s be honest, the guy is gorgeous, with the winning smile and supermodel-marrying capability of Tom Brady.

I wish that I could remember Tim’s sermon as well as I do his appearance. I paid attention. It’s just that our band had led hundreds of youth gatherings, and I don’t remember most of those sermons. If someone had told me that he would be the most prominent athlete of 2011, I would’ve taken some solid notes.

What I do remember was that he seemed genuine, which is not a given when you put a teenager in a position resembling royalty (high school football star in Florida) and ask him to be a moral guide. He didn’t talk down to his audience; he spoke to them like they were his peers, because they were. As the band drove back to Gainesville, we agreed that God was doing some good things through Tim Tebow.

When Tim came to Florida, the campus was in a frenzy. He was to be our football Messiah. Though I rooted for the kid, I swore not to succumb to TebowMania. He was 19. How could I, a late-twenty-something data entry expert/musician with an engineering degree, look up to him?

He won me over. I didn’t buy his jersey or paint #15 on my chest on game day, but I couldn’t help but admire all of his good work on the field and the way he helped and encouraged people in the real world. I even featured a Tebow-like character in my first (and only) screenplay, a dramedy about faith and college life.

As I watch Tim on TV now, it’s hard not think of that high school kid preaching in front of a few dozen of his peers in a small Jacksonville church. It’s probably because that, despite the accolades, admirers, and riches he’s amassed, I don’t think he’s changed much at all.

I’ve been a Patriots fan since their first Super Bowl in 1986. I’ve never rooted against them, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. This Sunday, they play the Denver Broncos.