The story of the Cool Wedding

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As far as parties go, it was a pretty lame one. It was just guys. We sat around and played video games. And most of the time, I was downloading music on my computer. From the fervor (or lack of) of this party, you wouldn’t guess that I was getting married the next day. No strip clubs for my bachelor party; I think the most skin we saw was Princess Peach’s ankle.

I wasn’t downloading music because I was bored of my party mates. With our families at least an hour and a half away, our wedding was mainly a do-it-yourself affair. Cool Mum, known as Cool Fiancée back then (I guess I can call her Laura for these purposes), planned it all during our 3-month engagement in the midst of her senior year at the University of Florida. My role in the wedding: DJ (and groom). We were particular about the songs played during our reception, so instead of hiring a DJ who might play that were on our banned list (Electric Slide, I’m looking at you), we decided to set up my band’s sound system and play a series of CDs chock full of our faves. This was before MP3 players blasted onto the scene.

The wedding would be at an old brick-laden Methodist church in downtown Gainesville. We didn’t attend the church, but our church’s building was a warehouse lined with felt banners proclaiming the names of God, and Laura wanted something more traditional. The Methodist church was exactly that: wooden pews, towering stained glass windows, and a long center aisle from back to front, where she would begin a single lady and end up a cool wife.

The reception was not far at all for the guests – maybe 20 feet from the sanctuary doors to the fellowship hall. Laura’s dream was to have a disco ball at the reception, but there wasn’t a good place to hang one. My resourceful band guys bought a massive L-bracket from Lowe’s, mounted it to the wall, and hung the mirror ball. The ancient fellowship hall would be for one night a discotheque.

The day of the wedding was low-key. With an evening ceremony, Laura and her bridesmaids took their time getting ready. I set up around the church and moved a few things into our new apartment, a tiny (for Florida) one-bedroom. Living in such a small apartment was almost shameful for a married couple to endure. Hey, there’s no shame in $425 for 400 sq ft. I guess God was preparing us even back then for the tight arrangements of New York City.

There was rain that evening (ironic, don’t you think?), but our spirits were not dampened. The ceremony was simple and sweet. The pipe organ belted out hymns and a song that Laura loved from the France movie at Epcot Center. We said our vows. My bandmates played a worshipful and haunting rendition of Jars of Clay’s “Hymn” on acoustic and violin. And the pipe organ carried us out triumphantly.

I wish I could say that we were considerate of our guests with the brief ceremony, but we kept them waiting for over an hour while we took pictures. It’s OK; once we swept through the doors to Soulful Strut, they were treated to the best finger foods in town and the finest dance jams ever played at the First United Methodist Church of Gainesville (est. 1857) fellowship hall.

Last month, we celebrated the 8th anniversary of our simple, self-planned wedding. Thank you, God, for these years and adventures. You know, I hope we remembered to get that disco ball down, too.