Twitter has been the darling of the Web for the last year. If you haven’t jumped on the Twitter bandwagon, don’t feel like you’ve missed out. Through tweeting, retweeting, and Twitter celebrities, or twelebrities, you can join now and look like a cool trendsetter. Here’s how:
TWEET AS MUCH AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE
The best way to not look like a Twitter noob is to build up your tweet count. That way, people can’t easily tell that you signed up yesterday. Twitter veterans, or tweterans, have tweet counts in the tens of thousands, so you’ve got some work to do, newbie.
People like real people just like themselves, so the more day-to-day your tweets are, the better. Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time, so be sure to tweet that.
@arewestillcool Left leg into pants.
@arewestillcool And in goes the right leg!
@arewestillcool Both legs in same pant leg. Thought these pants felt tight.
Your tweets should be relatable to your followers and followers-to-be. Tweet about things that everyone understands, like
Television
People love to tweet about popular shows and sports events that other Twitterers are likely watching.
@arewestillcool Nothing on channel 7, going to channel 8
@arewestillcool Going to channel 9
@arewestillcool Ch 10
* 47 tweets later *
@arewestillcool 57
@arewestillcool YES! A show about Twitter!
Food
Tweeting and eating, or tweating, is a favorite pastime of Twitterers. Everyone eats, and they do it several times a day. Plus, food appeals to all of the senses, so you can make some creative tweets.
@arewestillcool Love the smell of Cocoa Pebbles
@arewestillcool Cocoa Pebbles look super chocolatey
@arewestillcool CPs crackle in milk. Eat your heart out, Krispies
@arewestillcool Yum. (chew chew chew)
@arewestillcool COLD milk! just dumped bowl on me in hurry to tweet second bite
Bedtime
Everyone sleeps, and people want to know when you do. Especially your prankster roommates who plan to tar and feather you and put it on YouTube.
@arewestillcool 2,209 tweets today. Not bad for first day on Twitter. Night
@arewestillcool Right leg into bed
@arewestillcool Left leg into bed
@arewestillcool I hear giggling
If you doubt whether you should tweet a thought, remember Nike’s famous slogan: “Don’t Buy Reeboks.” In the same way, don’t question whether you should tweet something – just tweet it.
RETWEET JUST AS MUCH
Tweeting every moment in your life will inspire your first hundred tweets, but tweeting every moment in everyone else’s lives is the sign of a Twitter Elite and Expert User, or tweezer. This is possible through the ‘retweet.’
The retweet is essentially forwarding someone’s tweet, like you would an email. It gives them props for the profound statement they just made, while you can also add your input. It’s a great way to encourage your Twitter friends and make new ones. Simply add ‘RT’ to the front of a user’s tweet and add any comment after a //, and you have a retweet!
@arewestillcool RT @6dfslover eatin a bagel // Awesome! With cream cheese?
@arewestillcool RT @horsegurl1998 at work now // haha
@arewestillcool RT @tweetfr33k just blinked // me too!!
ENGAGE THE TWITTER CELEBRITIES
As in every arena of life, there are those who have achieved celebrity status on Twitter. These twelebrities include movie stars, professional athletes, royalty, and social media experts.
A twelebrity can give you a Twitter Expansion of Benefits and Reputation, or Twix bar, by including your username in one of their tweets. That tweet will be seen by their hundreds of thousands of followers, a good number of which may start following you.
You can engage these twelebrities by both tweeting at them or retweeting their tweets.
@arewestillcool @aplusk Wanna meet up for pizza?
@arewestillcool RT @loswhit Fri night. What’s the plan tweets? // tweeting tweeting tweeting
@arewestillcool @MichaelHyatt i rite good
@arewestillcool @mashable hi!
With high quality tweets like above, you’ll be sure to draw the attention and admiration of twelebrities and their followers.
AND YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY
These invaluable tips are like the back door to the Twitter revolution. You’ll show up late, but no one will notice. And who knows – you too may achieve twelebrity status. Just follow this advice and think of unique ways to lead and stand out among the crowd, much like the Minnesota League of Twitter Innovators, or Minnesota Twins.
If you liked this post, retweet it as much as humanly possible and follow Cool Dad on Twitter! Also, be sure to subscribe to AWSC? for continued unique and mildly ridiculous content.
Related posts:
- Cool Duel – Which one is cooler: Twitter or Facebook?
- Quick thoughts
- Cool Giveaway for Earth Day! Our TCN ChicoBags
As for me, better never than late, when it comes to Twitter. CD is the only Tweetie in this household.
i refuse to be a twit!
that’s what they all say at first…
Funny. Love twitter. But a few things about it annoy me.
1) Celebrity tweets. I refuse to follow @aplusk or @oprah.
2) #throne. Gross. Just gross.
1) I agree. I don’t follow them.
2) I haven’t seen #throne, but I think I can guess what people are squeezing out of that hashtag.
I never understood Twitter. The celebrity stuff might be cool, but I don’t ever see myself getting on it. Have fun tweeting about putting on pants though!! =)
Oh, I will!
Great post! Really funny and creative… though as is often the case, I can’t quite tell if you are actually endorsing Twitter or only making fun of its ridiculousness. Either way, I’m confident in saying “never” when it comes to me and Twitter.
That’s always the mystery of a Cool Dad post – you never know what you’re getting. Which is probably why most people avoid Cool Dad posts.
I never thought I’d have more followers than Cool Dad, but I do. Now I need a cool nickname (no pun intended) like “Cool Bro” or “Cool Uncle”
Warren G
@WarrenCorpus
And of course, you need to retweet this post to all of your followers!