I flushed my wedding ring down the toilet

To many married folk, the wedding band is sacred; a highly-prized token of eternal dedication to one’s spouse. To many pastors, it’s the opportunity to say sweet dialog like

This ring is a perfect circle. The circle has no beginning or end, just like Christ’s love for us that He embodied on the cross. This ring is made of gold, a metal of great value, precious like the love of a divinely-ordained mate…

Some never take off their wedding band; I do all the time. I take it off when I play guitar; not to attract single ladies in the audience, but because it impedes the actions of my already short fingers. I almost never wear it at home because it slips off when I’m washing dishes or showering.

Of course, I treasure what the ring represents: my love of Cool Mum (who back then was Cool Wife) and her love of me. Apparently though, I do not so much treasure the ring itself. Which must be why I flushed it down the toilet.

It was an accident! I had just used the bathroom, and I placed the ring by the sink while washing my hands. I flushed the commode and picked up the ring to put it on. However, it slipped from my wet fingers and landed in the toilet with a clink!

I could still see it. I had time to snag it, but I decided to let the flush finish. It wasn’t going anywhere. Unfortunately, the potty had different plans.

The final whoosh of water whisked my ring away to the depths of our septic tank. I stood there for a moment processing what had just happened. The symbol of my eternal love for Cool Wife, sacrificed to the porcelain god. Doh.

My saving grace is that our pastor’s ring monologue could have actually gone something like this:

This ring is a perfect circle, or at least should have been if not for the unreliable quality control at Sheboygan Rings n’ Rivets, Inc. The circle that it should’ve been has no beginning or end, just like Christ’s love for us. This ring is crafted from sterling silver, a metal more precious than aluminum, and is rare in that it can be found only in the finest of mall kiosks…”

Yes, the ring that the crapper swallowed cost us $12 from the silver cart in the local mall. Considering gas for that shopping trip, I guess the total shoots up to $13.50. Shameful, I know. At least we made up for it with Cool Wife’s wedding band: $6 at Wal-Mart.

When we tell someone how much our rings cost, we often get an awkward nod, sometimes a chuckle. Maybe a “Oh, how interesting!” or “You guys make me laugh,” when their face screams “You weirdos.”

From a quick search across Yahoo! Answers, theknot.com, and various forums, I found that people seem comfortable spending around $300-500 on wedding bands. Some mentioned diamonds, platinum, and other premiums that drove the cost well above $1000.

We just decided that what the rings represent is important to us, not the price tag. Only by the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, we value the meaning, not the material item. Also, ’cause you never know when one of us might give their ring a permanent swirlie.

I took the incident a lot harder than Cool Wife. She thought it was funny and started planning our next trip to the mall. I agonized that the ring, a cornerstone of our wedding ceremony, was forever condemned to a smelly, smelly grave.

She reassured me and forgave me. That’s the real treasure: a patient, kind, forgiving love rooted in Christ. That kind of love is priceless and makes any precious metal look worthless in comparison.

13 notes on “I flushed my wedding ring down the toilet

  1. Mandy C.

    My hubs has lost his twice. No biggie. The dedication & love is there regardless of the price tag…or the ring, for that matter.

    I dropped my keys in the Costco toilet once…with pee still in it…we now call them the sh*tter keys.

    Reply
  2. Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect

    I think it’s great that you are so frugal, even with your round symbols of love. ;) Neither Mark nor I wear our original wedding rings. I wear my Granny’s wedding band (it’s bigger, to fit my sadly bigger finger) and Mark doesn’t wear anything (work hazard). And yet, we still know that we’re married and we love each other. Other people seem to think it’s odd, but we’re cool with it.

    Reply
  3. Reese

    I can’t decide if it’s normal to take your ring off to wash your hands. Does the ring ever get washed? Why not take it off before you even enter the bathroom?

    Reply
  4. cool dad

    mcc – good to know that i’m not alone!

    mary – i’d never thought of people who can’t wear rings because of their work. thanks for the info!

    reese – the ring often gets washed in public bathrooms and such. i don’t even know why i was wearing it at home at that time. and one thing to remember: concerning my decisions and behaviors, “normal” is usually not a fitting word for them!

    Reply
  5. annie

    I’ve been wearing my original wedding band (which cost ~ $200, and I thought I was frugal!) for almost 8 years now.

    My husband has gone through THREE of them, the last two of which were sterling silver, purchased on ebay. None of them went down the toilet; they’ve all just been bent and broken.

    We finally decided to get him a tattoo on that finger! Problem solved for us.

    Reply
  6. Juliana E.

    Oh yeah! You guys are so cool! I love the fact that you were so frugal – I am sorry you lost your wedding band – hopefully you can find a frugal replacement. I think you should have earned cool points for not letting material objects represent your commitment to each other!

    My dad never wore his ring – he worked in a power plant – it was a safety issue. He and my mother were married almost 50 years – no one ever questioned their commitment.

    Reply
  7. Tam

    both brent and me have busted our original wedding rings. brent, while playing softball. me, while clapping during worship music in church. yah. im holier.

    Reply
  8. Raquel TWG

    I’m sorry about your ring, but this story is pretty funny…especially finding out how much it cost (:

    I’m glad neither of you freaked out or anything.

    But sheesh, it’s a been a week since the last new post! Have you guys been bust?

    Reply
  9. Michelle

    Just came across your blog and am really enjoying it.
    My husband roto-tilled his into our yard some years ago. Never did find it. My daughter asks, “what do you think people will say if they ever do find it? It will be a great mystery. Will they try to find you?” My guess, probably not.

    Reply
  10. Michelle

    Unfortunately we sold the place some years ago. Fortunately we’ll be celebrating 19 years in just a couple of weeks.

    Reply

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