There’s a cheap pizza and fried chicken place (and writing that confirms that I should never eat there again if I care at all for my arteries) that offers slices for $1. That’s at least a 50% savings off the usual $2+ slices around the city.
However, as is often true: you get what you pay for. My coworker kindly referred to it as “crap pizza.” I tried to justify eating it, but it’s true. Sometimes it’s undercooked, sometimes it’s burned. And always, it’s gre-he-hee-heasy.
CM once told me that you can slash the fat content of pizza by patting the grease with a napkin. This dollar pizza saturates around 3 small napkins per slice. Yum. Sadly, sometimes I would forego the fat patting because I didn’t want people to see me do it. Arteries, please forgive my vanity.
It’s funny how I order junk food, and then try to make it healthier. I’m better off doing it than not. But it’s kinda like putting lipstick on a pig, or whatever that euphemism was from the election. I should start with something healthy, instead of trying to make something bad for me slightly better.
Today, I vow to my circulatory system that if I ever eat there again, that I will pat away regardless of who’s watching. Oh, my heart has something to say: 
Do you pat pizza or do anything else to knock down the un-nutritional content of your junk food?
Every once in a blue moon we eat in the Costco food court after shopping there. I usually get the cheese pizza b/c I don’t like pepperoni (yes, I am a commie pinko j/k). I am physically incapable of NOT blotting that pizza – you just have to see how many grease-soaked napkins it takes to realize you HAVE to do it every time. In addition, I used to eat double-doubles at In-n-Out, but now order the regular cheeseburger and get extra lettuce and tomato to add bulk and “nutrients”! Also, there is usually no charge for extra veggies!
extra bulk, nutrients, and no cost? smart move!
I always blot my pizza – Rowan’s right. After you’ve seen the nasty napkins, how can you not?
As for other tricks, sometimes I buy a package of junk food (bag of chips, box of Pop Tarts, whatever), eat half, hate myself and throw the rest away. It’s a great use of my money, no? Oh well, here’s to actually following through on my annual dieting resolution!
Every single time I eat pizza I soak out the grease with a napkin or two…or three. Luckily, food companies are starting to make their products healthier for me. I’ve started to buy natural popcorn without butter and I got some of those new Whole Grain Poptarts (:
very funny. i rarely eat pizza – but had it last night. and….im a patter. i was actually thinking of asking on Twitter if anyone else did that too.
its better for you CD. Do it!!!
LOVE that greasy pizza.
I rarely pat. I may die earlier, but Ecclesiastes backs me up.
Pizza and fried chicken are some of my favorite foods. I never pat my pizza. I remember someone doing this many years ago and the pizza maker looking offended. I had some pretty greasy pizza on Saturday and it was delicious!!
I have been known to pat pizza, but I usually get veggie, so there might not be as much grease as a slice of pepperoni. The Mexican food place where I get fish tacos comes with 2 corn tortillas for each taco. I only eat one of the tortillas even if it breaks apart. Very messy, but delish. Sometimes I’ll eat a hamburger leaving off the top bun, unless I eat at In-N-Out, then I order it “protein style” where they wrap it in lots of lettuce instead of a bun. If I ever have chicken that comes with skin, I’ll remove that.
pq – throwing that junk food away takes some will power. congrats on that!
raq – whole grain Pop-Tarts? do they have those for the Smores kind?
tam – glad to know there are fellow Pizza Patters. CM is full of great ideas.
paul – you know what you love. that’s important.
coolstuff – i imagine that some pizza guys, esp here in NYC, would be offended if they saw me patting. bringing along an eating partner to cause a diversion helps to get away with it.
brenda – all very good suggestions! I miss In-N-Out…