I think I’m a darn cool mum these days. Peek into my head for a moment.
I live in the greatest city in the world. I walk down the street and see my neighbors Bono and Michael J. Fox. I stroll a happy baby around and laugh at the thought of all the people (actually, probably just lots of movie scripts) that said, “You can’t raise a baby in New York City!”
I’m surrounded by well-educated people, world-famous museums, and streets that have rich cultural significance. I left the city for a week to visit my family and all I thought about was, “Well, in NYC, we have…” and I tried really hard not to speak these comparisons where NYC is always “superior” because I became annoying even to myself.
Then I realized the hard truth. (If anyone is still reading this self-aggrandizing post.) I am becoming a prideful dork-slash-jerk. Here I am being protected, cared for, and blessed by my God and I respond by getting full of self-coolness. This, my friends, is why I think I haven’t posted in a while. The latest post ideas haven’t come to life because it would be a challenge to hide the yucky reality of Cool Mum. [-20 cool points]
A few years ago I was hit hard by the pride chapter in CS Lewis’ Mere Christianity. He talks about how pride is a root of so many sins. And it’s just not something that people naturally have mercy on when they sense it in other people, Lewis says. Think about how rare it would be to encounter someone who seems to be completely full of himself and say, “Poor guy, he is really struggling with pride right now.” Pride is just that gross.
In my analysis of pride of few years ago, I remember thinking that Jesus Christ is the only answer. Without Jesus, there is no logical reason to not be prideful. For instance, if I thought I could work my way to God or to being a good person, then there would be no reason for humility. But, because I know that Christ’s death is the only way I can be saved, then pride is seen for what it truly is, and it makes sense that prideful attitudes would be universally bothersome.
Are you struggling with pride right now?
As you pursue the crazy things that you feel God wants you to do, do you ever find it sneaking into your heart? Or in the past, how have you dealt with it?
When I start thinking, hey I’m doing alright, I’m a good person, I am reminded that the Bible says that our righteousness is as filthy rags. When you realize you are a filthy rag it’s a bit hard to be to proud about it. Thanks for the open, honest and thought provoking post.
An Arkie’s Musings
I will probably always remember the day when someone told me that my pity parties and pouting/silent weeping during fights with my husband were pride. If I wasn’t sitting down I probably would have tipped over. Since then I see pride popping up everywhere – as in I agree with Lewis that it’s the root of a lot of sins. And I agree, without Jesus it almost makes sense to be prideful. I guess Paul said it best (as he does most things) that we should (and can) only boast in Jesus!
Thanks so much for this post. It’s a hard thing to be honest about, especially when you feel like you’re doing so well.
I applaud your transparency, CM. It’s a hard subject to open up about. I find that pride is pretty much the root of my every failure – putting my ‘needs’, desires, plans, etc. ahead of people; thinking more of myself than I ought; etc. It leads to comparisons, anger, selfishness, laziness, putting my time w/ Jesus on the back burner, disobedience… I have to battle daily to push ME out of my head/heart and put JESUS/OTHERS there instead. It’s the only cure for it. I’m hoping continued doses will lead to being inoculated against my pride sickness.
Praying for you…
richies–that is very true…i have always loved that verse for some reason.
onehotdish–yeah, isn’t it crazy how once you notice it in one area, you start seeing it in others! it could be very overwhelming if it weren’t for our knowledge of Jesus’ saving grace.
rowan–thanks for the encouraging words. it’s good to know that i’m not alone in this fight!