The time is here! We are very honored to have our first guest poster, Lauren from The Ripple Effect! We are big fans.
Her story is one of life, love, death, and the undying faithfulness of God. Read her About page to get caught up, and then after reading this, go back to her blog and read every post. There, we just planned out your whole day!
Enough us, here’s Lauren!
(photo: “Flying away from home”, Mackenzie Rollins)Hi. I’m Thing #2 (see 2 Cool Things post below). Otherwise known as Lauren. Nice to meet you.
The Cool ‘Rents have asked me to do a guest post. I’m honored. And highly nervous. So please, I ask you outright, like my post. And please visit many times so their ratings go up. That would give many people joy, including myself and the Cool ‘Rents. Thankyouverymuch. Ahem…
Well then, my newfound blog friends, I find myself as of late in the business of important decision-making. I’m a single mother, and I’ve decided to move across the country. In this decision, I will be leaving the place I grew up in (Though love it as I may, I’ve tried to escape at least 10 times now, and always end up trudging back into town, smiling sheepishly at how I told everyone I was pretty sure I was going to be a French citizen for the rest of my life, or join some resistance revolution in an obscure country, or something like that), my wonderful family, my awesome church, and my beloved house to the ravages of renters. This is, to say the least, intimidating. The thoughts racing through my mind at any given moment look something like this: Lord, am I screwing up my child’s life? Lord, am I screwing up my life? Lord, please don’t let my house burn down, be involved in any drug transactions, or be completely demolished when I see it next. Lord, do you really want us to go across country? Lord, will we be happier there?? Basically, I’m freaked out about it.
So why am I subjecting myself to this anxiety and hardship, you ask? Because, I say, as I look off into the distance with glazed eyes, I’m looking for opportunity. Because change and the hardships that come with it just may make myself and my son better people. Because I’m hoping for something better. I don’t even know what. I’m living on the brink yet again. Yet again, living on the brink.
I’m sure most, if not all, of you know what I’m talking about. The brinks of life are unavoidable. I’m thinking pubescent kids walking off to their first day of high school amidst kids 3 feet taller than they are. I’m thinking moving away from the comforts of home to go to college for the first time. I’m thinking walking out of the church as the wedding bells ring, wondering what will be in store for yourself and the person you just married. Finding out that you are indeed fertile after all, and because of it, will now be caring for another human being completely dependent on you. Job changes. Big moves. Retirement. Ultimately, the biggest brink life has to offer, death. Oh, and none of these necessarily happen in that order, which adds to the chaos.
Some people love the brink. Others loathe it. And some, like old people (And unfortunately I fall into the group with old people on this one…Dang it!), are just tired of it and want to get it over with already. There’s an air of hopefulness, some excitement, some anxiety, and, oddly, some peace that ultimately, it’s all up to God anyway, so just go with the flow. I mean, I look at where I was 2 years ago, and would never, ever have guessed that I would be where I am today. There’s been some big stuff that has gone down, yo. But I’m still here, aren’t I? So I sit here and wish I could peer 2 years into the future from now to be able to say, Oh yeah, that was a good decision. In the end though, I’m not a big decision regretter. I don’t believe that life has as much to do with what actually happens to us, but instead more to do with how we handle what happens to us. After all, we all live on the brink of tomorrow.
So, I’ll move across the country. The Cool ‘Rents will start a new national trend of going to the Target cafe for dates in formal attire. My parents will get new jobs and prepare for retirement. My good friend will get married soon. And we’ll all look back at those brinks in our lives and forget that they were ever as stressful or pivotal as they seemed. But, mostly, we’ll see how God works out all the little details that seem so confusing and overwhelming from our limited earthly viewpoint. And the threads that make up the tapestry of life begin to make a grander picture. God is sovereign and He is good.
I’d love to hear about what the brink is in your life or your perspective on life changes. Perhaps you could give me advice on what the heck I’m supposed to do. Tell me. I sound creepishly like Dr. Frasier when I say “Tell me” like that, even though his line was “I’m listening.” I’d be more creepish if I had a really low voice, which I don’t. But really do feel free to advice me up, especially because if you don’t, it’ll look like I failed as a guest poster…
I must apologize to all you users of Internet Explorer. You may have been seeing some weird formatting in some of the posts.
I’m a Firefox user and everything looks fine when I view it in Firefox, but I just viewed our blog in IE and there are a few weird spots. Our last post is an example:
It looks like I wanted emphasis on those words. In reality, those words are supposed to be the same size as everything else. (nice wood paneling, eh?)
This kind of thing convicts me. I need to be more accepting of other internet browsers. I can’t point out their flawed CSS interpretation while I ignore the obsolete HTML code in my own eye!
I should never judge those who surf differently than I do, because we should always remember: Love your neighbor as yourself, even if they still use Netscape Navigator 4.0.
Yesterday, a friend asked how the boy was getting along and I rattled off the standard list that I’ve been rattling for the last couple of weeks, complete with hackneyed euphemisms (in italics).
He’s crawling a lot. If we turn around, he’ll be in (insert precarious place for baby to be) before we know it!
He can almost stand on his own. He’ll be walking before we know it!
We’re feeding him solids. He’ll be eating steak before we know it!
Actually, unless he learns how to buy a New York Strip, fire up the grill, and cook it to a nice medium rare – all by himself – no, he WON’T be doing that before we know it. Why do I say these things?
He says ‘dada’ a lot now. He’ll be reciting the Magna Carta before we know it!
When I told her the ‘dada’ one, she noted how ironic it is that the mums (usually) spend the most time with the kids, but the kids say ‘dada’ first. Of course, we chalked it up to biological development, etc., but a God thought popped in my head, too.
I think God uses ‘dada’ in some small way to help keep Dad and Baby connected since Dad is usually out trying to provide for the family. For dads working all day or traveling on business, coming home and hearing the little one say your name is a cool reminder that they haven’t forgotten you.
I imagine this would raise the ire of speech pathologists and working moms everywhere, but it’s my blog, my boy, and my little pretend world, so lemme just believe this, OK?
1994: High school friends introduced me to the 80’s stuff and we went to a U2 laser light show (hehe).
2001: Heard “Beautiful Day” on the radio after a few years of Christian-music-only diet. Got the CD immediately. Quietly became a fanatic.
2002: Got married (unfortunately I did not walk/run down the aisle to “Streets”…what a missed opportunity) and started analyzing lyrics, listening to interviews, and convincing my husband of Bono’s awesomeness (”he’s telling people to read the Bible!”). By pure coincidence, forced to go on a week long trip to Dublin as part of graduate program requirements. Took a picture in front of Bono’s house and purchased a Bono-mullet-photo key chain.
2003: In a spiritually dead season, felt like God was trying to get my attention through “With or Without You” (all-time favorite song). Weird, I know.
2004: I read this. Hosted an Atomic Bomb listening party.
2005: I read this. U2 show in Miami. Saw Bono drive by and screamed instinctively. U2 show in Tampa. Conquered my fears of getting smooshed with general admission tickets. Camped all day. Landed in absolute front row (photo above), against the barricade, spitting distance of the beloved Edge. Shock. Awe.
2006-2007: Cool Dad vetoed “Hewson” as a possible middle name for our son.
2008: Saw U2 3D. I guess I’ve tamed down a bit. Thinking how funny it is that God can use silly rock bands to get your attention.
Sidenote: the whole “U2 and Christianity” thing is an old, tired subject for some. But, how can you not love this?
With wisdom which means
Wise words being spoken
- Eric B. & Rakim, “My Melody”
Despite waking up several times during the night, I think this time of parenting is easy. We feed the boy, we play, we change the boy, repeat. But a time is coming when my words and their meaning, not just their tone, will have a lasting impact on him.
Proverbs 4:1 says ‘Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.’
So what kind of wisdom will I pass down to the boy? Well, biblical wisdom is obviously the most important. Things like the Gospel, faith, joy, obedience, and humility. But there’s also a “life wisdom” that’s been shaped by my personal experiences.
Here are four of the many life wisdom lessons I hope to teach him:
COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE
I’ve seen it countless times in all arenas of life: family, work, relationships, band, sports, etc. People don’t communicate, conflicts break out, and the results are almost always bad. With love and tact, be sure to communicate how you feel, what your goals are, what your reservations are. It’s not always easy, but it’s the best and most loving way to deal with people.
KNOW WHEN TO BE FUNNY
I’m a goof. And that reminds me of this one time, my friend Joey was at the ATM with a long line and I yelled out, “Hey Joey, is your PIN still 2041?!” and then we went back to his house at 32413 Maple Ave and… oops, there I go again. Just thinking about my errors in timing brings back the salty, buttery taste of my foot. You gotta be cool and pick the right time to slip the jokes in. A perfectly-timed joke is just smooth.
NO REGRETS, BUT LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKS
I used to be the king of regret. I still sort of am, but that’s usually ‘menu regret’ (a topic for another post). I would dwell on missed or failed opportunities to the point where I could’ve sworn it physically ached me. Despite what we consider failures, God is sovereign and He’s not gonna be like “One coin? Are you serious?… You had your chance and you blew it.” Learn from those low points so you can avoid them next time.
(and i left that ‘e’ out there on purpose. good timing?)
LIFE AND THE TIME WE HAVE IS PRECIOUS
This is something I’m learning more and more. Heck, even reading today about Seth’s near-death experience hammered it home a little more. With all the talk of tithing lately, there’s something you can also give that’s more valuable than money: time. You’ll never get any time back. There are no time tax refunds, no time inheritances, no time lottery.
Now, I plan to have tonnes of playtime and downtime with the boy, but I hope he learns early that when you’re thankful for your time and you give it to God, that He’ll do amazing and unforeseen things with it.
That’s enough for now. I’d love to hear any parenting wisdom about passing on wisdom or any wisdom you hope to pass along when the time comes.
