After a SECOND mention by Cool Dad of my googling of “child spacing,” I feel I must clear my name here. No, I am not scheming to get pregnant again. Believe me. I have simply been doing research for the sake of our dear readers here. Yeah. So there.
My question: What is the ideal space between the first and second baby?
In 2006, some lovely researchers published an article in the Journal of the American Medical Association that analyzed this issue in terms of the health of the infant. They said 18 to 23 months between pregnancies (not between births) is ideal for the second baby’s health. That means that baby #1 should ideally be between 2 and 3 years old when the second one is born.
In my mind, there are some other considerations that also come in to play:
- how many diapers can we handle changing in one day?
- how many extra baby expenses can we afford?
- how much baby gear and clothes can we reuse?
- how many activities can we get them to do together?
- how many fights will we have to break up over the next 20 or so years?
And of course the most important considerations:
- I’d rather not be pregnant during the Florida summer.
- I need the kids to entertain each other while I blog and google stuff.
- Cool Dad is going to be ANCIENT if we wait too long. heh heh that’s what you get for spying on my google searches
I haven’t made up my mind yet. Cool Dad doesn’t want to think about it yet, even though it was his favorite topic as I was puking into my bucket during the first trimester.
I am leaning in a certain direction though. I’ll leave you with the image below as a clue. (Isn’t this the best minimalist invention ever?)
So, what do you all think is the ideal spacing, based on your own sibling experiences or parenting experiences?
Here is how it worked for us:
Plan #1: married for 5 years before first child.
Actual timeline: married for 3 years and 2 days before first child was born.
Plan #2: First child is 3 before we discuss child #2.
Actual timeline: First child is 2 years, 3 months when second child is born. (it was supposed to be 2 years, 4 months, but strong willed child #2 wanted out early)
We think it’s worked out perfectly, but not because we had anything to do with it. The older one was able to be excited about the new baby, and a little helpful.
All I can add to Amy’s comment is that now they are pretty much best friends. Which is awesome.
Cool! I’d love to hear the nitty-gritty on how you managed changing all those diapers and kept baby #1 from hitting baby #2 in the head with toys and stuff.
If you don’t mind me asking…Are they boys or girls? How old are they now?
Seeing as how there are no children yet… I can only respond from my own childhood experience.
I was a mere 17 months and 3 days when my younger sister was born… but not because my parents intended to space us so close together.
Five years later, sister #3 was 15 months and 20 days when sister #4 made her appearance… again not intended by the parents.
One would think they would learn after the first go round! Today (and growing up) we are the best of friends. Believe it or not, I was no longer in diapers when sister #2 was born (over-achieving mom!) but I’m pretty sure #3 and #4 both spent time in diapers together. My parents survived…
They are both girls, oldest will be 5 in March and youngest is 2 1/2. I think having a mild-mannered girl first really helped, again, not that we had anything to do with that!
Diapers – it’s easy, because by the time they’re over 2, you’re really only changing a diaper or two a day.
There was very little toy bashing, but the older one did really enjoy vigorously rocking the baby in her carseat or swing.
The only thing I really had to work hard at was getting them to nap at the same time, because I knew my days of sanity were limited if I didn’t have those 2 hours to myself!
OK, I’ll stop giving CM a hard time since she composed this wonderful post.
At least until I see her researching it again…
we had our boys every two years, now 5, 3 and 1… though none of them were planned.
Honestly… hope it’s not a coppout…
but we did it “when God said”. All 3 kids saw my wife ready before me, but then getting the “go ahead” from the big man in my spirit let me know that things were ready. It’s pretty much how we make our other decisions so we figured,,, why should this be any different?
Elizabeth–that is really neat. I didn’t realize there were 5 years between pairs. Sounds fun because everyone had a playmate and there was no middle child. And I bet you two took care of the younger two very well!
Dave–good points…it is funny how the ladies are often ready first.
Brody–three boys! I bet you guys have a lot of fun.
Hey guys, I just found your post thanks to Kat’s blogroll post.
Very nice.
Timing for me and the lovely Katherine:
kid 2 born 17 months after kid 1
kid 3 born 27 mnths after kid 2
kid 4 born 22 month after kid 3
It was the next oldest child’s job to bring the diaper when it was ready to be changed.
(wait, theres more!)
kid 5 (only boy) born 40 months after kid 4
kid 6 (only “planned” one) born 16 months after kid 6
kid 7 (fun baby) born 15 months after kid 6
My wife is the most fertile woman on earth. The last time she got pregnant, I had only winked at her. We defied the odds with 4 different kinds of birth control, except with #6.
I was sure I would have only 2 kids. After the #7 pregnency was announced, my fear of having another child overcame my fear of sharp metal objects in my nether regions. (snip, snip)
I saw a really funny post about anti-spacing (read vasectomy here) at:
http://frompoopsandwichwithlove.blogspot.com/